You wear your eyes like a mask, dull, glossed, and unresponsive. I dance past, losing my mask in the flourish of laughs, gazing at you from the corner of my eyes, wishing you’d smile back, because I love you, honey. You’re the one that has shielded your eyes and clung to your hate.
I should really stop trusting people.
There is this unrequited desire to be close to you that I possess. What do I mean to you?
you really know how to make me feel worthless.
I’ve caught a fire, clutching it tight but not enough to crush it. It glows. It burns like a firefly trapped within the cages of my hands. It’s light is spreading through me. I shake and tremble, sweat with worry and anxiety, and ache with all of the fibers of my being. You are my fever, and I want to crush you, vanquish you from my body, but there is something about your presence that...
I wish I wasn’t so messed up.
Your assumptions ache. My muscles sore from fighting against you. You assume I’m blind. You assume I cannot hear your laughs. You assume I’m not hurt. I just hide my bloody wounds your words have cut like icy wind and shivering talons. I hurt, I ache, I long to shut out your words, but your laughs are too malicious for me to forget.
I don’t think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no...– “Memoirs of a Geisha”
glitterpeniss: t-funny: nopointsforpants: ...
firstmorningthoughts: there’s just something about you i’m absolutely craving, a hunger inside me that insists on more.
The truth flowed so peacefully from your lips like breath during slumber, I was taken aback. I looked into your eyes, wishing to see a joking gleam. Curiosity? Concern? Compassion? Lies. Lies. Lies. All you think and see are lies. I am not what you say I am. I am not like what you think. Can’t you see this smile? It’s real. I promise. I promise. I promise. I promise that I lie; I lie...
Why can't I be strong enough to stand on my own?
You’ve become numb, a memory so medicated with love and pain that I wonder how you still affect me, waving your affection before my starving, emaciated heart.
Im a shadow of my former self
i just wish i could help.
I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong. Everything?
why the fuck am i still trying
I want to drown. I want to breathe in water, because it would be less painful than this.
I have no control. I cannot stop it. I cannot stop all of this. I thought this was over. I thought this was dead and buried. I thought I had shot it, beat it to death, and was even smeared with the blood before I placed it in the ground. I guess it’s not, because just as I was about to walk away, it grabbed my ankle. Attempting to pull me into the grave, into my death. I want to give up as...
I'm trying to prove my worth.
If you only knew
Feel totally and completely used.
I knew you were a good person all along, yet you still surprise me. Honestly, this is all I ever wanted.
autumnwhisperings: I’ll just let myself disintegrate.
you're the only thing that can make me happy right...
It’s cold in this hell. It’s a frigid oblivion. A heartless world where people are sacrificed to only stop the cold others are experiencing. It’s a devilish world. I want to die, knowing that the actual hell will be warmer and maybe more welcoming.
I want to sleep for 3 years straight and wake up...
Please, please don’t make me sleep tonight.
My fingers are bleeding, red, swollen, aching to every drop of blood pouring from under my nails. I drip across this ground, decorating it in my mulitple tries. My tries to reach out, to touch your pain, to heal it with my kisses, but of course I never get that close. You always slap away my fingers, afraid of my touch, ashamed that I know what you’ve done. I’ve known for as long as I...
I wish I wasn’t such a disappointment to others and to myself.
This is all I ever wanted from you, and somehow, traveling over a rainbow, rising from the dead, determined to finally burn bridges damp with tears, its been done. Is this what peace feels like? I like it.
Remember, you are worth it. You are beautiful. You...
Anonymous asked: what was ur last post about?
Your openness shifts, changing like the tide, blocking me or allowing me to enter the cave of your golden secrets. I’ve drown there before, attempting to keep the water levels low, but you were scared, scared I would take something, running away with it, or share the treasures and prospects with others, bragging of my journeys. You know I wouldn’t do that, but just as a precaution,...
I shake, tremble with unquenchable terror, terror of myself, of my thoughts the ones that haunt me on the nights so foreboding not even the moon gazes to the devilish world. They sneak into my warm bed, smiling with the glimmer of their revenge, revenge against forgetting against creating them and damning them to the deepest hell in my mind damning them. damning them. Then in these nightmares, I...
somehow I never regret
What do promises mean these days anymore? I promised. I lied. I don’t care.
If I knew how to explain this in a picturesque way, I would phrase it so. But I am so captivated that viscous are my words and thoughts, slowed by the onslaught of these emotions.